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The Brand X Guarantee

Okay, here's the deal.  Everything I sell comes with 2 guarantees.

 

The first guarantee:

If you don't like my HOME STYLE seasoning blends I guarantee I'll be surprised!

 

The second guarantee:

If you don't like the HOME STYLE seasoning blend you bought, you don't own it.  I will happily refund your purchase price with no questions asked.  Just let me know that you are not happy with it and without further ado here's your money.  Keep the seasoning blend.  If the seasoning blend is almost okay but just isn't quite to your taste, share it with a friend.  If you think it just plain sucks, give it to someone you totally dislike.  Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky, and they'll never speak to you again!  Win-win!

 

Now this second guarantee is not without limits. 

 

First:

I will only refund your purchase price on a maximum of two (2) bottles of HOME STYLE seasoning blend on any transaction.  I already told you to not get carried away with my seasoning blends; sneak up on it.  If you're not sure about my seasoning blends, buy one or two and take them for a test drive, sort of a first date.  Find out if it's a good fit.  So, if you got all wild and crazy and bought two or three of everything, that's on you.  I'm trying to be reasonable here and I think you should be also.

 

Second:

I will not refund whatever shipping you paid.  We're in this together.  When I do a refund, I'm out the cost of my seasonings and you're out the cost of the shipping.  At least it wasn't a total loss for you.

 

Third:

I will only refund your money twice (2 times).  I'm a nice guy and I like to believe most other folks are as well.  But I know there are some out there who will take advantage whenever, wherever, and however they can.  So, after the second refund, I'm going to figure you are just working me for free seasonings and will simply refuse to sell you any more of my seasoning blends.

 

So those are my two guarantees.  If you don't like my HOME STYLE seasoning blends, I guarantee I'll be surprised.  And if you don't like the HOME STYLE seasoning blend you bought, you don't own it.  Pretty simple.

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